16 +1 things that took me over 50 years to learn

Ο Dave Barry είναι ένας αρθρογράφος (humor columnist πιο συγκεκριμένα) με μεγάλη ιστορία στο χώρο του αμερικάνικου press, βραβευμένος με Pulitzer το 1988 και με το αναγνωστικό του κοινό να μοιράζεται ανάμεσα σε εκείνους που μισούν να τον διαβάζουν κι εκείνους που αγαπούν να τον διαβάζουν και μισούν εκείνους που μισούν να τον διαβάζουν!

Τον εχω συναντήσει κάμποσες φορές αποσπασματικά στο internet και σε διάφορα περιοδικά και παρά το γεγονός ότι δεν είμαι φανατική αναγνώστριά του, η αλήθεια είναι ότι μ'αρέσει ο τρόπος που γράφει.

Πρίν μερικά χρόνια έγραψε το περίφημο "16 things that took me over 50 years to learn" το οποίο βρίσκεται μαγνητοποιημένο στο ψυγείο της κουζίνας (ενω ο υπόλοιπος κόσμος έχει ενα ψυγείο στο μπάνιο, στο σαλονάκι, στο wc...) και το βρίσκω αρκετά ευρηματικό και φτιαχνοδιαθεσιάρικο γι'αυτό και το μοιράζομαι με τους αγαπημένους μου e-friends!

Πάμε λοιπόν...

16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN
By Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
3. There a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
   
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never leak a steak knife.
8. The most destractive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic backround, is that, deep down inside we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to say something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Thought of the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp tha crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

FINAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and a b s o l u t e l y no recollection of what to do with them.

Ώρα να αναπτύξουμε και τις δικές μας θεωρίες! :)